


Hearing is Not Listening

by GinnyK



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s06e11 Opposition Research, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:24:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Post ep toOpposition Research.





	Hearing is Not Listening

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

By the time the gathering at Phil Hawke's house had ended, Josh was more than ready to go back to his room and crash. It had been a very, very long, stressful and at times annoying day. The thought of a hot shower and some mindless television helped him to force a few more smiles and shake a few more hands as he propelled Congressman Santos out to the car. The Congressman, he still refused to call him Matt, had done well, very well and in a round about way Josh told him so as the pair climbed into the car and headed down the snow covered street back to their hotel. Muttering something about calling his wife and kids, Congressman Santos headed to his room before Josh could even think about discussing the agenda for the next day. 

Josh fumbled for a minute with the lock on the door, his fingers cold and stiff as he wasn't wearing gloves. He entered his hotel room, with the same thought he'd had each time he had entered the paneled room, that it looked like the cabin he stayed in when he went to sleep away camp as a child. He toed off his shoes and tossed his coat on the chair before turning on CNN and checking the messages on his cell phone. There was one from his mother and another from Sam. He listened to then both, but didn't call either one back. Exhausted but wound up and cold he headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower to warm up and try to relax enough to sleep. For the past few weeks sleep had been rather elusive. That didn't surprise him in the least but it was still annoying. Every time he had trouble falling asleep he'd hear Donna's voice running around in his head, telling him to stop being so stubborn and take a sleeping pill. It was that voice, as well as the voice of Stanley Keyworth with whom he had spoken the week before, that made him refill his prescription. 

As the hot water ran down his body, easing away some of the tension of the day, Josh found his thoughts turning, not surprisingly so, towards Donna. Even though he thought he had been prepared to see her, the sight of her in Will's office had rendered him all but speechless. The hello he had managed to croak out was reminiscent of junior high. And while he knew he shouldn't have been surprised at her job title, after all she was more than qualified; he was once again left rather speechless. When she turned his own words back on him, he realized that in the years Donna had worked for him there was probably very little he'd said that she hadn't tucked away in her mind for future use. All those times he thought for sure she wasn't paying attention when he had gone off on a tangent, she was listening and learning. It was sort of a frightening thought when he really considered it. 

But he'd made the first move with the email he'd sent her the week before. She had acknowledged receiving it but hadn't written anything back to him. And with the events of the day behind him, it was pretty clear to him that she wanted and/or needed time. And as much as it would kill him to do so, he would give her all the time she needed. He'd waited years; he could wait a little longer. 

The bathroom was completely filled with steam when he shut off the shower so he opened the door a crack to let some out. Just as he was finished drying off, and reaching for his blue pajamas, there was a knock at the door. The last thing he really wanted was company but there was a very slight chance that it was Donna on the other side of the door so he yelled for whoever it was to come in as he pushed the bathroom door closed again so he could get dressed. The door never opened and the person on the other side knocked again. 

"I said COME IN," Josh yelled again as he stumbled across the room to open the door. Again there was a knock. "What are you...." Josh flung open the door before he could complete his sentence. Which turned out to be a good thing, as the last word of his sentence was going to be "deaf" and the person on the other side was indeed, deaf. "Joey. Uh, hi," Josh muttered as he found Joey Lucas outside his door. He stuck his head out a little further, looking for Kenny. 

"I'm not here on business. Kenny's in his room, on the phone with his girlfriend," Joey explained as she bounced from one foot to the other in the cold. It was at that instant that Josh realized he was rather cold, standing there with wet hair, wearing pajamas and nothing on his feet. "Can I come in?" Joey finally asked as she gave Josh stood there rooted to his spot. 

"Huh? Yeah sure," Josh said as he stepped aside and let her in the room. "Put your coat anywhere. Just ignore the mess," he said as he turned away. Joey grabbed his arm and turned him around. 

"Kenny's not here," she pointed out, reminding him that he needed to face her when he spoke. 

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Put your coat anywhere. Sorry about the mess." 

"No problem," Joey answered as she tossed her coat on top of Josh's, which was on the only chair in the room. Josh ran his fingers through his damp hair in a vain attempt to control it a little. He turned on the light on the desk and the one in the corner by the door to make it easier for them to talk. Joey looked around the room for a few seconds before just sitting down one of the beds. Josh sat down on the other bed. 

"No offense or anything," Josh started, talking care to look at Joey and enunciate his words carefully. "But why are you here?" 

"What, I can't stop by and say hi?" Joey teased. Josh just laughed. "This afternoon you looked a little...a little, I don't know, overwhelmed, sad, tired." 

"So you thought you'd stop by and keep me awake?" Josh teased. Joey laughed as she kicked off her shoes and backed up until she was sitting against the headboard. 

"I want you to listen to me. Sit over here," she said as she patted the bed next to her. Josh just looked at her with a slightly perplexed look on his face. "The light in here stinks," she pointed out as she rolled her eyes at him. Josh chuckled and climbed on the bed next to her, sitting sideways, his left shoulder against the headboard. 

"Better?" he asked. 

"Much," replied Joey with a smile. "So how are things?" she asked, using the most general question she could. 

"How are things?" Josh muttered, repeating the question in an effort to stall answering it. "Depends what "things" you mean, I guess," he said as he dipped his chin just a little. Joey reached out to tip his chin back up and he smiled at the contact. "Campaign things are...are ok, I guess. It's so early. I'm not sure what to even expect right now. The Congressman is...let's just say he's even more in the dark than I am. He's trying to move a little fast with policy and platforms. I think we just need to get his name and face out there for now. So I guess we're going to have to figure this out as we go along." 

"Is Matthew Santos the real thing?" Joey asked. 

Josh took a deep breath before answering that question. "I think he will be," he answered honestly. "But I'll admit there are moments when I wonder if giving up everything was a mistake," he admitted. 

"It must have been a hard decision, leaving the White House. Must have taken a huge leap of faith." 

"Or a momentary lapse of sanity. Honestly, I realized there was very little holding me there. Things have been different for a while now, for over a year I suppose. But that's not to say it wasn't a hard decision to make. Walking in the Oval Office to resign was one of the hardest things I've ever done." 

"What did President Bartlet say?" Joey asked curiously. 

"That he knew it was time for me to move on. That he was grateful for everything I had done. And he told me not to sacrifice my life for my job." 

"Pretty wise thing to say," Joey said quietly. "So have you talked to anyone from the White House since you left?" 

"Sure, I talk to Toby almost every day. I talked to CJ yesterday. The President called this afternoon. Apparently after I met with Liz this afternoon she called him to tell him I looked like hell." 

"You do," Joey teased lightly as she took in his haggard appearance and suddenly felt a little guilty that she was keeping him up when it was clear he was in need of a good night's worth of sleep. 

"I know," Josh replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "Haven't been sleeping very well." 

"Is that all?" Joey asked with a knowing look on her face. 

"Of course not,” Josh sighed. "I was wondering when you'd manage to steer the conversation towards Donna." 

"Donna? I didn't steer the conversation in her direction," Joey teased as she did her best to feign innocence. Josh just snorted as he dropped his chin down a little, suddenly finding the pattern on the bedspread fascinating. 

"What's there to say?" he said after picking his head back up again. "She left me." 

"She left the Bartlet White House, not you personally," Joey pointed out rather forcefully. 

"Hey, I thought you were on my side," Josh cried. 

"I'm not on anybody's "side" Josh. You're both friends of mine and I don't like to see either of you hurt." 

"Fine. She didn't leave me, she left the White House." 

"Why?" Joey asked, pressing him to face some things she wasn't sure he'd been able to face yet. 

"I don't know. She didn't give a reason," Josh replied quickly. Joey just gave him a look that told him there was no way she was going to believe that answer. "Ever since last spring she's talked about growing in her job, about doing more. And I was giving her more. But that plan sort of, pardon the expression, blew up in our faces," Josh said sadly. 

"Why did you go to Germany?" Joey asked as she reached over to give Josh's hand a quick squeeze. 

"Because," Josh answered, hoping against all hope that was sufficient enough. 

He should have known better. 

"That's not an answer Joshua," Joey pointed out, emphasizing the fact that she used his full name. 

"Because there was no place in the world I would have rather been at the time." 

"Doesn't that tell you something?" Joey pushed. 

"I don't know. When I was in Germany and when Donna first came back things were different. We were...I don't know...we were closer I guess. I really thought that things might change between us. But they didn't." 

"Why not?" 

"A combination of things I guess. There was this guy, Colin, who Donna met in Gaza. But he basically tried to hit me over the head to get me to admit my true feelings. I think what it came down to was we were both too scared to take that first step." 

"You two are waaaaayyyy beyond that first step," Joey teased. 

"Suppose you're right about that," Josh muttered. "Things spiraled out of control from there. She wanted more, professionally and I supposed personally too. I was too stubborn and immature to listen to her. She did try to talk to me. She tried to schedule lunch about 6 times in the week before she left. Eventually she just got so fed up that she quit, right in the hallway outside my office." 

"So basically, you got what you deserved?" 

"Yeah, that I did. And know I don't know how to change things." 

"What have you done so far? Anything?" 

Josh just gave her the "do I look like a complete idiot" look. "I sent her an email last week. I laid everything out for her, bared my soul and groveled." 

"And what happened?" 

"She emailed back to say she'd read it. I took that to mean she needs time. And I'll respect that. But when I saw her today, I don't know. It was just harder than I thought it would be. I think she felt the same way. So instead of taking the time to sit down and talk, we just snarked each other." 

"Snarked?" Joey giggled. 

"Shut up. I told her she didn't belong with Russell, that she should be with me." 

"What did she say?" 

"I don't remember. Something snarky I'm sure," Josh sighed. "She has what I couldn't offer her, a great job at a decent salary with responsibility, room to shine, hell; she probably has an assistant of her own now." 

"Josh, hear me out," Joey said as she took his hands in hers. "Donna moved on, from her job, not from you. Put yourself in her place." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Think about how she must have felt when she came home from Germany. Joshua, you flew halfway around the world to sit at her bedside. How do you think that made her feel?" 

"Good, I suppose. Loved, I guess." 

"I'm sure it did. There she was, lying in a hospital bed and the guy she's pined over for years flies to her side. And just when she thinks things are finally going to change, she gets home and nothing much is different. She took your flying to be with her as a sign. God, Joshua, lots of people took that as a sign. And then....nothing. Back to "snarking" or whatever you call it." 

"Why blame me for everything? She's not exactly blameless," Josh said with a dose of frustration as he tried to let go of Joey's hands. 

"No, she's not. But she's also not here, you are. I'm sure on some level she felt, "dumped" to use a high school term. Granted, you weren't actually together, but I think you know what I mean." Josh just nodded as Joey let his hands go. 

"So I screwed up," he sighed as he closed his tired eyes for a second. 

"You both screwed up," Joey corrected him. 

"You think there's any hope for us?" 

"There's always hope, Joshua,” Joey assured him as she gave his hands another squeeze. "But for the love of God, both of you need to stop with the misdirection and snarking. You're adults, start acting like it. If it's time she wants, give it to her. You're both going to be incredibly busy over the next 10 months, running in the same circles. You're certainly bound to run into her pretty frequently, don't push. Be gentle, with her and with yourself. Like the President said, don't sacrifice your life for your job." Josh just nodded as he tried to force the lump in his throat back down. He'd spent too much time in the past few weeks being an emotional wreck, he wasn't in the mood to do it again. "Now, you need some sleep so I'm going to get going." Josh just nodded as Joey reached for her shoes. She slipped them on and Josh grabbed her coat. "I hope you were listening Josh," she said with a smile. 

"I heard every word you said," Josh assured her. 

"Hearing is different from listening, Joshua," Joey pointed out, as she lightly poked his chest for emphasis. 

"I was listening, to you, to the President and when Donna's ready to talk, I'll be listening to her," Josh promised with a sad smile as he dropped his chin down. 

"Good," Joey said as she reached to tip up his chin, not to read his lips, but to give him a quick kiss. "Keep in touch," she added she pulled her coat tightly around her. 

"I will," Josh promised. "I’m sure we'll need more research soon." 

"That's not what I meant by keeping in touch," Joey teased with a roll of her eyes. 

"I know," Josh answered. "Thanks for coming over." Joey just nodded and smiled before heading out the door. Josh watched her walk down to her room at the end of the building before closing the door. 

Josh wandered around the room for a minute, turning out the lights and thinking about the difference between hearing and listening. He'd heard Donna when she tried for days to make lunch plans with her, but obviously he hadn't been listening. "In one ear and out the other", his mother used to say when he was a young boy. 

After brushing his teeth and taking a sleeping pill Josh crawled under the covers. He thought about what the President had told him and what Joey had told him. As he replayed their words in his mind he really listened to them, instead of just hearing them. 

THE END 


End file.
